How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
