I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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