it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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