He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
did i just pee glitter
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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