What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
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