Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
