First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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