I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize