you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
