her vagine was all disorganized.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do vagina's smell?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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