can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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