Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
