Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
