life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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