so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
