haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You took a bar mat shot.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
