I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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