She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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