he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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