I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
