Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
