Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize