With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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