He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
