butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
