Me too!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
