I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
