Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
