i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
