i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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