I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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