I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Congratulations! We have a period
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
