I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
