shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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