i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
