My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i love accidental penises.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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