he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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