oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
