We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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