I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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