you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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