He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize