I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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