im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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