I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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