sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
so much tequila, so little girl.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
