Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
