guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Randomize
