I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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