You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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