don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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