my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
A+ Viking dick
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize