I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
