i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
