Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
