Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
