I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im holly from the hills drunk
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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