i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
