when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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