I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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