Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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