Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
