whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
