We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
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New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.