whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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