You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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