...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
