I wish I could teleport
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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